This is the continuation of a post from a couple of weeks ago in response to a request to know more of who I am, outside of a life coach. I decided to structure this task in an interview format, addressing what I would want to know about someone I'm just meeting.
What don’t you enjoy?
Eww. I don’t like cleaning up and putting things away. This is something I’ve made a conscious and concerted effort to improve within the past year, and I have been successful--but it is a work in progress. I’ve discovered and created techniques and tricks that facilitate being neater, and they really help! I dislike cardio workouts. I am not athletic, and tend to be sedentary. If something requires a lot of physical exertion with subpar payoff, I’m not a fan. I have a limited diet, which I really dislike with my love of food; there are a lot of things I can’t eat that I wish I could. Although emails are a necessity and can be convenient, I don’t enjoy tending to them.
What are three important lessons you’ve learned?
This is a biggie! 1.) If you commit, persevere, try, and put in the time, you can overcome weaknesses and things that are a problem and actually turn them into a skill and a strength. I’ve experienced this a couple of times: I was diagnosed with a non-verbal learning disorder in high school (terribly late because I was able to compensate for it until that point). I worked terribly hard at my writing, and was fortunate to have skilled mentors who helped me overcome my challenges with writing. When I took my GRE’s (the test you take after college to get into grad school), I had a 4.5 on the writing section, and 4.5-5 was the highest rating you could get.
2.) Self-love is so important. At some point, people will likely reject you, exclude you, hurt you, judge you, make fun of you, etc. Ultimately, you are the one person you have, from the beginning of your life to the end of your life. What other people say and do can and will affect you, but at the end of the day, other people don’t matter because you are the executive of your life and you are the person experiencing your life. If you don’t love yourself and only look outward for acceptance and love, you are giving who-knows-who a lot of power over your life experience. Know who you are, know who you want to be, and love yourself- flaws and all. The best life is going to be the one that you choose based on your values, not one that you create based on being pushed, pulled, and controlled by others. If you don’t love yourself, you can’t love someone else; you will be too consumed looking for and needing that person’s love to be able to give freely and accept the love that they have for you. You have to know you’re worthy of being loved! 3.) You gotta dig in and face it. Avoiding whatever it is will not make it go away. Distracting yourself is not going to make it go away. It will only fester, maybe get worse, or have additional negative consequences. There is a time and place for avoidance and distraction, but it is not a long-term solution. Being able to tolerate and “work with” uncomfortable feelings at times is part of a healthy life. AND I’m adding a fourth: 4.) It is okay to say “No” and set limits!
What is your philosophy of life?
I’ve spent much time since I was very young thinking about the meaning of life. Although I still don’t know, I’ve logically concluded for now that a good life is one that you enjoy and one where you give back. That logical reasoning also vibes with me at an emotional level, and it’s what guides much of what I do.
There are still a few questions as part of my interview, which I will save for a later post. If there are any questions you'd like to add to my interview, please let me know, and I will include them!